So I've started working on a massive family tree. This isn't the first time I've done it, but it is by far the more extensive and resource-intense attempt. I got a paid Ancestry.com account on a whim last weekend and I have already clocked upwards of twenty hours of research time at least. If I am awake and not traveling or working (or blogging, I guess, though I've got 7 genealogy tabs open at the moment) I am digging.
It's amazing to me just how much there is to know. I am at the start of this project and have nearly 300 relatives on the tree. Some are names and dates, but others are already stories- I have access to their jobs, their addresses, and the diseases that killed them. It's like I could keep adding forever. Addicting and a drop overwhelming.
Anyway, I am toying with the idea of using this space for updates related to the project. Mostly to keep myself organized, but who knows if this might become the theme that actually sticks. For now, back to digging.
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Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Gratitude
Happy Bird Day, friends. Hope you're enjoying time with people you love and preparing to feast on all sorts of classic and pinterest-inspired goodies. I am thankful for all of you, and for the feeling of contentment this season still manages to inspire in me no matter what sort of chaos and heartbreak may be swirling around. May you be present in every joyful moment today
Friday, September 4, 2015
Did you ever have one of those days when you were just so restless you wanted to climb out of your skin?
I am having one of those days today, and I love it. I've been reading a great book (Cutting for Stone, by Abraham Verghese) and as is occasionally the case when I am reading a great book, I get a bit too filled up with ruminations on possibility and adventure and becoming, and it gets really, really hard to sit still and focus on any one thing. So I am in a pizza place, waiting for my veggie pie and enjoying a Yuengling at 2 in the afternoon because I don't know what else to do with myself. I've already paced every aisle of Barnes and Noble, checking out so many colorful book covers. I've already pulled my car over to the side of the road twice (and fumbled for my pen at a red light once) to dump god-knows-what onto the back of an envelope. So now I'm here, calming myself with beer and bread and hoping that I never lose this, because goddamn is it refreshing.
I am having one of those days today, and I love it. I've been reading a great book (Cutting for Stone, by Abraham Verghese) and as is occasionally the case when I am reading a great book, I get a bit too filled up with ruminations on possibility and adventure and becoming, and it gets really, really hard to sit still and focus on any one thing. So I am in a pizza place, waiting for my veggie pie and enjoying a Yuengling at 2 in the afternoon because I don't know what else to do with myself. I've already paced every aisle of Barnes and Noble, checking out so many colorful book covers. I've already pulled my car over to the side of the road twice (and fumbled for my pen at a red light once) to dump god-knows-what onto the back of an envelope. So now I'm here, calming myself with beer and bread and hoping that I never lose this, because goddamn is it refreshing.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end
I've got exactly two weeks, and just under 12 hours, to complete on my AmeriCorps term. Part of me is astonished at how quickly the year seemed to pass, but the way time has picked up speed overall in the last few years makes it not so surprising. I started a new job in mid-August, so I am sure new adventures await. As always, I'd like to do better with updating, too. If you're reading, know I love you! Have a wonderful week.
Monday, June 22, 2015
An unconventional trip
So here's a questions I've been badgering my friends with for the past few weeks. I don't know exactly when it popped into my head, but it definitely has to do with this crazy nostalgia I've been experiencing since turning 30.
If you could take a "road trip" through time, stopping in at different memories throughout your life, where would you go?
I planned mine while i was out walking the dog the other day. I figured I'd go back to the beginning first, stop in for a dinner at pizza hut with my grandparents and then maybe a pool day with friends followed by a movie and sleepover in the living room under the AC that works a little too well when you've been out swimming all day and your hair is still damp. I'd get a spot on the pull-out couch, because this is my trip and I'm in charge.
So that'd be,,,let's see,,,about 1990 or 91, we'll say. After some panella toast and coffee (sweetened with amaretto creamer because I WASN'T ON A DIET BACK THEN.) I'd probably head off to visit my brother Danny on the day he was born in 1995. He was damn cute, and back then he wasn't nearly as snarky as he is now.
That's a short trip, so next I'd be on to late August of '98, starting with an epic trip to Canal Street with Aunt Donna and Tiel (where I got that great Jim Morrison T-shirt and those serious indigo bell bottoms that were the loves of my life) and staying through a day or two of band camp before retiring to take a well-deserved nap before New Year's Eve 199 8/99 at Chris's. I will take a good bit of time on this leg of the trip to appreciate how not fat I was and how much possibility was still in front of me.
Next stop after freshman year would probably be South Water Caye on the Belize trip, then the December after (2001) that I met Mark and Shannon. I'd hang out a LOT in those early days (maybe take a week), on Shannon's old couch with the celestial print blankets watching The Dark Crystal and drinking ice tea with extra ice (which ordinarily I didn't like, but she did and so it was a vital part of the experience)
I'd probably catch the express past the debacle that was my first year of college, maybe poke my head in briefly to see Debbie, Denise and Matt at one of Dr. J's lectures, try to convince them to go out for a drink at Alexis like we did that one time. Next would be a night at Rick's in Clifton with Lorraine and the Interstaters (08) and a visit to my first solo apartment, then a straight shot to New Mexico (just a stop in Tucumcari then the sanctuary) for dinner at Ancient Way, campfire songs, and movies in hogan 2. The best of the best.
Post sanctuary is where everything becomes to big blob of the recent past that hasn't been distilled into waypoints yet, so I'm thinking I'd just head back to regular life after that.
Ok, so that was way shorter in my brain the other day. I know it's sloppy and unpolished to be out here where someone could theoretically read it (HA!), but it was fun to do. I think you should make one too....I promise yours will be more interesting to create than mine was to read. Places you thought you'd go that you decide not to, or vice versa. Memories are weird things.
If you could take a "road trip" through time, stopping in at different memories throughout your life, where would you go?
I planned mine while i was out walking the dog the other day. I figured I'd go back to the beginning first, stop in for a dinner at pizza hut with my grandparents and then maybe a pool day with friends followed by a movie and sleepover in the living room under the AC that works a little too well when you've been out swimming all day and your hair is still damp. I'd get a spot on the pull-out couch, because this is my trip and I'm in charge.
So that'd be,,,let's see,,,about 1990 or 91, we'll say. After some panella toast and coffee (sweetened with amaretto creamer because I WASN'T ON A DIET BACK THEN.) I'd probably head off to visit my brother Danny on the day he was born in 1995. He was damn cute, and back then he wasn't nearly as snarky as he is now.
That's a short trip, so next I'd be on to late August of '98, starting with an epic trip to Canal Street with Aunt Donna and Tiel (where I got that great Jim Morrison T-shirt and those serious indigo bell bottoms that were the loves of my life) and staying through a day or two of band camp before retiring to take a well-deserved nap before New Year's Eve 199 8/99 at Chris's. I will take a good bit of time on this leg of the trip to appreciate how not fat I was and how much possibility was still in front of me.
Next stop after freshman year would probably be South Water Caye on the Belize trip, then the December after (2001) that I met Mark and Shannon. I'd hang out a LOT in those early days (maybe take a week), on Shannon's old couch with the celestial print blankets watching The Dark Crystal and drinking ice tea with extra ice (which ordinarily I didn't like, but she did and so it was a vital part of the experience)
I'd probably catch the express past the debacle that was my first year of college, maybe poke my head in briefly to see Debbie, Denise and Matt at one of Dr. J's lectures, try to convince them to go out for a drink at Alexis like we did that one time. Next would be a night at Rick's in Clifton with Lorraine and the Interstaters (08) and a visit to my first solo apartment, then a straight shot to New Mexico (just a stop in Tucumcari then the sanctuary) for dinner at Ancient Way, campfire songs, and movies in hogan 2. The best of the best.
Post sanctuary is where everything becomes to big blob of the recent past that hasn't been distilled into waypoints yet, so I'm thinking I'd just head back to regular life after that.
Ok, so that was way shorter in my brain the other day. I know it's sloppy and unpolished to be out here where someone could theoretically read it (HA!), but it was fun to do. I think you should make one too....I promise yours will be more interesting to create than mine was to read. Places you thought you'd go that you decide not to, or vice versa. Memories are weird things.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to truly embrace your whole self- to be fully present in your life, proactively making decisions and not apologizing all the time. And these internal conversations are always make me feel kind of ambivalent, because on one hand I am getting SO MUCH better at that lately, but on the other hand...it's just taken so damn long. And I've got so much further to go. I get sad when I think about the opportunities I wasted out of fear or (worse, and more frequently) the chronic assumption of my own inferiority. I didn't just suffer from imposter syndrome in grad school- honestly, it's been more like the running theme of my life.
I'm not saying that to rally up a bunch of ego stroking. I understand that I have accomplished some neat things in my life, and I understand equally the factors that have kept me from accomplishing other neat stuff. This insecurity just happens to be one of the latter. And anyway the good news is that the bottom line of this post is not my history, it's the fact that I'm starting to see a destructive internal dynamic for what it is and now I can do something about it.
So I'm speaking up in meetings at work. I'm bringing new ideas to the table, even if I know they might bomb. I'm going on dates and not wearing Spanx. This is a new and exciting chapter in my life.
It's freeing, really. I think I'm gonna like it.
I'm not saying that to rally up a bunch of ego stroking. I understand that I have accomplished some neat things in my life, and I understand equally the factors that have kept me from accomplishing other neat stuff. This insecurity just happens to be one of the latter. And anyway the good news is that the bottom line of this post is not my history, it's the fact that I'm starting to see a destructive internal dynamic for what it is and now I can do something about it.
So I'm speaking up in meetings at work. I'm bringing new ideas to the table, even if I know they might bomb. I'm going on dates and not wearing Spanx. This is a new and exciting chapter in my life.
It's freeing, really. I think I'm gonna like it.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Happy New Year everyone!
I'll be spending my afternoon in front of the TV catching up on DVRed episodes of Forever and perhaps having ice cream for dinner. Here's a quick list of things I hope to make happen in 2015
- better Twitter presence
- more updates here
- more time outdoors
- less worrying about resources
- less clutter, of all kind
How about you?
I'll be spending my afternoon in front of the TV catching up on DVRed episodes of Forever and perhaps having ice cream for dinner. Here's a quick list of things I hope to make happen in 2015
- better Twitter presence
- more updates here
- more time outdoors
- less worrying about resources
- less clutter, of all kind
How about you?
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